Well, almost anyway. I'm in the chair (sweating my ass off) as I type this. I have about 45 minutes left. They actually decreased my dosage last cycle since I had been having such a rough time so that makes my time in the chair a little shorter and it made me feel a *little* better in between cycles this time. Well, considering how sick I had been after cycles 6 and 7, I guess I was a lot better, but it's still chemo and I still had some crummy days, but overall, it's better.
Obviously it's a little bittersweet to have my dose reduced since I really wanted to throw everything I could at this thing. I do not want to see cancer on my PET scan when this is all over and if I do, I know I'll wonder if I was stronger and could have tolerated the full dose, if the cancer would have been totally gone. But, I know that is not healthy thinking so I have to just push that out of my mind and focus on the fact that staying healthy in between cycles is probably just as critical to me beating cancer. The sicker I get, the better chance I have of having to postpone a cycle or quit all together so, it is what it is.
On a related note, my oncologist told me he didn't actually think I needed radiation after this. If that is the case, that means I really could be totally done with treatment in 2012 and fully move on in 2013. I start to tear up thinking about that!! He suggested I discuss it further with a radiation oncologist, but he didn' think that my particular case would require/benefit more from radiation. He added that since I had such a rough time with chemo, he really felt it wasn't worth it. Studies haven't shown there to be much benefit to radiation in cases similar to mine. But, I will get the second opinion to be sure. Obviously I want to be done as soon as possible but most importantly, I want to be done and not have to ever come back (well, except for my yearly "you still don't have any cancer" appointments).
I feel like there is a lot more I wanted to write about since I haven't felt well in so long. But....that's all I've got for now. Maybe I'll come up with more later.
Three more to go!!
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