I honestly can't believe I'm almost done with chemo. It's hard to explain as on the one hand, I had less than six months of chemo to do and I think we've all experienced how quickly six months can go. On the other hand, I had 12 cycles of chemo and got pretty sick, run down, in pain with almost every one, which made it feel like I would never get through. Cycles 9 and 10 were so hard I was seriously taking anxiety meds in preparation for number 11....and then.....nothing. This was possibly the easiest cycle I've had, including the first one and side effects are definitely supposed to be cumulative. I have no idea why I didn't have migraines, vomiting, debilitating exhaustion, though the neurotic in me is of course worried they didn't give me the right meds or dose. They show me everything they give me, but how do I know there wasn't some Kramer-esque mix up in the lab and I wound up with dextrose instead of 5-fu or Oxi. Yes, one of my chemo drugs is called 5- fu. I find it appropriate. Sometimes while I'm hurling into my trash can I find myself saying F U, fu. Not really but, I could say that. But now I only have one more opportunity to say that!! Of course, after this last cycle I'm hoping for another easy go of it, but if I need to take one on the chin and go out with a blaze of chemo induced glory then that is what I'll do. I've got a med cabinet full of anti-nausea meds that need to be used up before they expire. Bring it!
Alas I won't be completely done when I get disconnected on the 28th. I go in for my pre-radiation appointment on the 10th and then I should start radiation about two weeks after that. I will go in 5 days a week for 5 weeks but should be able to work and the side effects (if not the risks) are much less than chemo. I'm disappointed that my finish line has been pushed back, but I know I have to do everything I can to beat this thing...so...I'm doing radiation.
Hope everyone is having a happy and healthy holiday season.
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